Lol, I know that it’s September. I meant to sit down and write about August during the actual month, but now it’s too late and it’s September and I haven’t written a blog post in 8 months and I’m rusty.
Two weeks ago I started my senior year. Senior year.
That’s not a casual sentence, not now, not ever. I am honestly still in disbelief, and expect to wake up in elementary school on a regular basis. I wish I could, because back then my biggest issues were whether or not I could get the LEGO set I was really wanting. (To answer, yes I had all of the Harry Potter LEGOs and most of the Star Wars LEGOS and no friends.)
But, August just ended. My fourth August since beginning college. I feel like such an adult. I’m old. In the words of Lindsey Lohan/Jamie Lee Curtis in Freak Friday, “I’m like the cyrpt-keeper!”
Ok, but actually August has always been such an important 31 days for me. Since starting college I’ve had almost all of my major life events occur during the month of August.
Quick note: It is currently 11:36, I’m drinking a glass of “Midnight Red” aka a Red wine Bota Box blend (because I am a creature of elegance), and avoiding doing reading for my French Lit class, so I would like to apologize in advance for whatever word vomit may occur at any moment before or after this disclosure. Thank you for your time and enjoy your ride.
So let’s take it way back.
Let’s go baaaaack,
Back to the beginning
HOLY. That was so long ago??? This was the very beginning of my college experience. I was such a young buck! Didn’t know a thing about myself, about life, about the world. Not that I really do now, but I like to pretend that I’m more enlightened.
Moving into Reese Hall was the beginning of an adventure with some of my best friends from high school learning to navigate life on our own. I almost always attribute “theme words” to each season of my life, and without a doubt the word for my fall Freshman year was independence.
I had never experienced independence until college. Not really. My parents were always so supportive of me and would let me do most things, but I never was the sole decision-maker on an every day basis. So what if I wanted to eat PCB pizza for every meal? And yeah, I’ll spend my free time hammocking next to the art building thanks.
That August was just so important, because my life grew into a huge world of possibilities.
So this was maybe the scariest month of my life? But also the most incredible. On the first Friday of August 2013, I posted my very first blog post on this lil’ site.
My “introduction” as I so astutely labeled my announcement that, “Hey I’m gay,” was something I never thought would happen. Like, honestly, prior to actually coming out of the closet I was happily under the impression that I would eventually turn straight and this little phase of mine would all be put behind me one day.
BUT NOPE. God said, “Hey, I want your life to be a little bit more interesting,” and then I was openly gay and everything changed.
Sort of. I had already told the majority of my close friends that I was gay, so it was really just alerting the masses, and allowing people to judge me however they felt fit.
My word for that season was freedom. Finally, finally, I didn’t have to worry about hiding myself to the world. I could openly talk about my experiences, my struggles, my romantic interests, and my day-to-day life without fear of people suddenly discovering my sexuality before I was ready to share.
I was under the false impression that coming out of the closet the prior year would be the most life-changing experience I would go through in college.
HAHA NOPE. Once again, my plans for my life were utterly obliterated by God’s plan.
Initially, my plan was that on August 24th, 2014 I would be boarding a plane with two of my best friends and jetting off for a semester abroad in Paris. PARIS.
(To this day I think of my time abroad on a daily basis and miss the people I got to know. They’ve become such monumentally important humans to me that if you ever see me and I look sad you can probably assume that I’m thinking about Paris and it’s casual but my heart breaks for my four months there NBD.)
But the days leading up to my flight I was sick, and began to experience chest pain. Heart attack at age 20?
Honestly not surprised necessarily (because my life is just like that), but it was like… plz no, @God?
I ended up being admitted to the hospital the day before my plane left and that time in the hospital was when God beginning stirring in my heart. That’s when I first started to doubt my major, to think “Doctor…. Doctor… Doctor…”
Four and a half months later I switched my major (largely in part to a popular TV show but I’ll write about that some other time) and now I’m definitely set on going to med school and becoming a physician.
This past month may not have had the large, distinguishable events that have made the past Augusts so mind-blowing, but it was a wonderful and important month.
After finishing my Organic Chemistry class, starting my fourth year at UT (I’m graduating late so no fireworks yet), getting my first letter of recommendation for med school, getting my first shadowing position lined up, etc. I’m just sitting at my desk now with my mouth wide open.
I am encouraged and affirmed in my decision to go Pre-Med after this month. It’s hard not to recognize that God is working FAR ahead of me, and it’s been the coolest. Being a pre-med student is probably the worst major, in my opinion. Every single one of my peers is chasing the same goal, and so many of them feel aggressively more qualified than me, but I have to continue to just move forward and do my own thing.
I guess I just really wanted to look back and reflect on how far I’ve come in college. I’m thankful for all of the experiences I’ve had, all of the lessons I’ve learned, all the people I’ve known. I wouldn’t be who I am without the love and support of my friends + family. Seriously, y’all rule.
BUT YEAH THERE’S MY FIRST BLOG POST IN EIGHT MONTHS.
Was it worth the wait? Waiting for my Pulitzer Prize eagerly in the mail.
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